I have to say a few things out loud. Writing them down is best for me. It’s actually my only choice as Mrs. Spadoman is on the road, and that means my soul mate isn’t around for me to bounce my troubles off of.
She is in New Mexico. She went down to take care of our business with the apartment, the bank, the post office and the gas company. She also will bring back our personal belongings from the place we were renting down there.
Seeing as we weren’t going to be going down there and making use of the place, the land lord found another tenant and let us off the hook for the rest of the lease. The new tenants are to move in December 1st, so we had to get our stuff out of there.
I tell you, it’s pretty damn hard for me not to be making this trip with her, you know how much I love to travel, and it seems harder to be home alone. But Mrs. S needed the break as she has been on edge throughout the entire hospital stay. I am stable enough to be alone, and the chore had to be done. Besides, I have a cell phone for any emergency and very optimistic that I won’t need to use it.
As far as my recovery process is concerned, I can tell you that there is definite improvement. I am breaking in the new routines and they are becoming habit. My weight is down. I’m getting used to the lowered blood pressure and I am able to drive into town and walk around the grocery store and stop in at the coffee shop. The bigger problem is I haven’t had a cup of coffee, or any caffeine for that matter, since October 26th!
What I am having a problem with is a desire to participate in many things at the level I did before all this happened. One of these things is computer involvement. That means reading and writing the blogs and Facebook interaction, all the stuff I did on a regular basis.
I sit a lot and watch TV. I read a little and stare out the window, watching the birds at the feeder. This morning, I got up really early because I went to bed really early. I had the luxury of listening to a very loud hoot owl for about a half hour long concert.
This is by no means a sad thing. I am not suffering. I just don’t have the drive and desire right now to create. It will come, but isn’t there right now.
Please bear with me as I adjust. I’m sure the new drug regimen has something to do with it. I am forever thankful for all the outpouring of thoughts and prayers and concern all of you have shown. I cannot seem to convey how much I appreciate it. And although my presence to your pages and postings on my own pages is slow and intermittent, I am still around and hope to get back to normal soon.