Friday, November 18, 2011

First Round Scorecard

Haiku My Heart
November 18, 2011

Haiku My Heart is done every Friday. To see more and find out how you can participate, see Rebecca's recuerda mi corazon blog.

Joe Spadoman, one
Creator not done with me
Grimm Reaper, zero
There is a tree outside my hospital room window. It is full of green leaves. I don’t know what kind of tree holds its leaves this far into November here in the Northland, but it sits outside my window and tells me that there is still life in it. Not ready to become dormant. Not ready to die.
I have been getting messages from friends and family throughout this ordeal. There is no way I can tell any one of you how uplifting and important it is to read or hear that someone is thinking good thoughts for me and my family. I am eternally grateful and can only mutter the words thank you with humility and keep my head firmly hanging, hiding the tears.
Huckleberry Finn had the extreme luxury of attending his own funeral. He heard people eulogizing his life. I feel so blessed and fortunate that I have been afforded this same luxury as people who have never met me speak such wonderful words about me and pray for me.
I will tell you, it worked so far. I do have a good fight ahead of me, but for now, I have been sent home after almost two weeks in the hospital and I will wait for time to pass and the drug chemicals to work in my bloodstream to break up a clot in my heart. In the meantime, a pacemaker device was installed in my chest, upper left side. All of these procedures while trying to control diabetes and keep my lungs, legs and stomach clear of fluid from congestive heart failure. It will take perseverance, discipline and a lot of help from my family.
The changes in medication alone will once again change the way I live, but the doctors are optimistic that I will improve. They tell me that I will be able to ride my motorcycle again someday.
When I came out of anesthesia after my second triple bypass in 2003, I found myself alone with my thoughts, and although heavily sedated, I talked with the Creator. I told the Great Mystery that if it was my time, I am ready. I was told that it wasn’t my time and to fight for my life. I recall clenching my fists and feeling the adrenaline flowing through my body. Like Rocky Balboa I rose up and lived again.
When I was recovering from this 2003 surgery, I felt that I’d never come around and that I’d never walk comfortably again. Yes, the recovery process took a while, but I have been able to enjoy a very reasonable lifestyle, considering the circumstances, since then, right up to when my heart went aflutter on October 26th of this year.
I must believe that every day that I see my reflection in the mirror is another day of opportunity at living life. I also realize that It isn’t about me at all, and that I owe this continuation of life to God, as we understand him, and the many souls that take part in wanting me to be around. That would be my family, my friends and my loving wife Barb that is the glue that holds all of us together.
My haiku today is not a bragging right, nor is it a declaration of victory. It is a testament to the power of the many human spirits that walk the universe and ask, dream, wish, hope and ponder the idea that one person’s life is important enough to let him know they think it is. I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate all the kindness that has been afforded to my family and myself.
In that essence, I send prayers of thanks back to you to use when you need them. I send these every day and say that I believe it was your prayers of light and love that allow me to be here today to speak this prayer to you:
Creator, Thank you for the light of day
Thank you for another day
Thank you for this new day today
Thank you for the rest you’ve given us
Thank you for the coolness that gives us comfort from the heat
Thank you for the warmth that brings us comfort from the cold
I thank you for the Sacred Circle that this creates, and for the opportunity to be a part of this Sacred Circle and the lessons it teaches
Thank you for listening to the prayers of the people
Thank you for listening to my prayers today
Today I pray for the Veterans, for the Elders, for the Addicted, for the Sick and Infirmed. I pray for the families and friends of these so that their suffering is relieved as well
I pray for the Children, the Families and Relationships
I pray for the Spiritual Leaders that help the people to pray, for their families and for their safe travel
Mitakwe Oyasin
Go back to the first paragraph of this post. Read it again. Yesterday, when the doctor came into my room and examined me to allow my trip back to my home, the sun was shining brightly, as it has for the past week. I watched the people walking to and fro bundled up against a raw North wind. That tree started to drop its leaves, and by noon, it was barren, with the still green clumps of small feathery leaves scattered on the sidewalk, street and courtyard like a blanket.
This tree spoke to me every day and sent me your words and thoughts. I was able to see the life you sent to me every day and I felt it. Now, as I have spent the first night in my own bed after a fortnight away, I slept soundly, and I thank you from the bottom of my soul.


Marit said...

Joe... I thought of you a lot. Along with your friends, I sent my wishes with the wind. 'Your' tree gathered our light, our prayers and our thoughts and with each waving leaf, passed it on to you. I'm so glad you are home and slept well. Heal, my friend, take it easy and allow time to heal your heart. We all surround you with our circle. You are loved.

Kim Mailhot said...

I am so glad you are home in your own bed, Man. And so glad that the tree gave you our messages of Light and Love.
Rest, and bask in the Love that is around you.
Big hugs, My Friend.

Nanka said...

When we pray to God in a special way, He answers them very soon, and sometimes may be a little later but it is good to be patient for he answers every prayer according to His most Holy Will!!
Good to know you are back home!!
Much peace Spadoman!!

somepinkflowers said...

such wisdom
comes only after Being Still,
i believe.

{{ yes
the Universe was all aflutter
with prayers for you
and now
U R home.
to choose your next purpose,
your next goal. }}

PEACE <--- i learned this from U !

Jeannie said...

So glad you are home again. I think the "Great Mystery" likes to experience life through us. And so, there is still more for you to experience so to be added to the files of eternity.

Makes me smile.

rebecca said...

welcome home peace man!

i have to share that i am feeling the joy and love in every post for you this morning! it is a sacred act, creating homes for our souls in the hearts of those we love.
thank you for your place in mine.
thank you for this round circle that knows no end and only expands to encompass all in boundless love!

deb did it said...

barefoot and grounded
hands to heart, eyes closed, deep breath
this one is for Joe

so comforted to know you are home...there is no place like home.
Rest and be well, my friend.

Wake at dawn with a winged heart
and give thanks for another day of loving ~ Kahlil Gibran ~

Sorrow said...

welcome home.
brightest spot in my morning was to see your words, and feel the life , love and gratitude in them as they wash over me.
rest and mend.
you are loved

Unknown said...

I am so very happy that you are home to get strong and healthy and continue down this path. I see the tree was indeed your totem and knew that you were ready to head home so was released itself to drop it's leaves for the season.

peace my friend.

Helen Campbell said...

Your post is an amazing testament to your joy of life. It's so wonderful you are home again. I offer my continued prayers for your healing and recovery.

Ramesh Sood said...

And God listened to all the prayers.. what else HE could have done.. the prayers were for a very special soul..SPADOMAN.. welcome home...take care..we have to keep meeting Fridays... Love... Best is yet to be..

GYamato said...

With my head full of happiness that you are home and resting, I can't find words but I am smiling broadly, glad to hear of 'The Return of Spadoman'.

peggy gatto said...

My post and haiku are for you.
I will keep you in my prayers

foxysue said...

You are well and truly loved by all of us Joe, we can all rest in our beds at night now you can rest in yours! I let you into a little secret, I couldn't sleep three nights ago and so I meditated in the night breathing deeply and thinking about you wanting my breath to send healing energy over the ocean to you, I like to think it joined with other prayers and thoughts to help you on your way.

Love to you both,
Ms foxy x

Cheryl said...

I'm glad to hear you are home and resting comfortably. We all need you Joe, you are part of us in cyberspace. Do what the doc says and get well soon.

Dawn Elliott said...

I'm sitting here bawling while reading your post today...what a fighter you are! I came into the blogging world fairly recently, and my impression of you was that of a true adventurer...I wish you the strength and healing to do so again. Prayers coming your way!

rochambeau said...

Dear Joe,
May you continue to heal in the presence of the light and feel all the good will that surrounds you!
May your heart continue to heal and be made whole and strong~ May you feel and realize how much you are loved for being the most excellent person that you are~

Love to you and your wife!!

liv said...

You're just one good man, Joe. Just one good man in the world. But how important and significant that is. Keep getting better one tiny step at a time.

I'm so happy to add my thoughts of health and healing to this circle.

The story of the tree - that's life in all it's beauty and mystery - how appropriate that you let it speak to you and listened and then so eloquently shared it with us ... we need you.
All the best to you !

Mel said...

((((((((( Spadoman )))))))))))

The last thing I expected this morning was to see this post. I mean, I knew you were returned home but I was pretty sure the 'glue' woulda had you tied down in your easy chair resting! Or......maybe this was sent via the easy chair. Yup--that's what I'm gonna choose to believe.

((((((((( the glue )))))))))

(((((((((((( Spadoman )))))))))))))

Oh...and by the way, the honor is all mine.
I'm forever grateful. I got to unite in love for someone who has graciously honored and touched my life and the lives of a whole lot of others.

You, sir, are an amazing man who underestimates just how powerfully you touch others.

Rest easy and let 'em love ya.
And know you are loved--hugely, deeply and way more than you really can grasp.
Ain't it cool?! :-)

mig said...

Oh wonderful to hear from you again 'Man. Lovely news to go to sleep with and I'm so happy to hear that you're home.
This is just the best thing I've heard today.
(And same as Mel, I'm choosing to think you're well settled to rest and relax even when you're here).
Lots of hugs dear 'Man.

susan said...

You are such a dear kind man Mr Spado, one who brings enormous blessings to all of us who have grown to know you through this electronic medium and to all of those who know you in person. All of our lives are short when compared to the depth of time that surrounds us but I believe our purpose is to help one another grow toward God. I am proud to be one of your friends in this life.

Peace, Blessings and very much Love to you and your family.

eb said...

Dear Joe,
I am so happy to hear of your sweet sleep in your own bed - this is one of the easily overlooked joys of life... I have been thinking of you the past few days - catching up via our dear Rebecca, etc... rest, hold that tree tight - it hugs you right back...

peace man
you are the Peace Man...

xox - eb.

Fran aka Redondowriter said...

We all wrote haikus for you today, Joe. You've obviously got work to do still on this planet earth. Hang in there, my friend.

Paula Scott Molokai Girl Studio said...

Yes, we were with you there at your side. Silently praying. Asking that this not be your time.
I am grateful beyond words that my prayers were heard.

Fran said...

Must be great to make it through these first hurdles. Being able to get out of the hospital is always such a joy in & of itself.
A Doctor's blessing to eventually be able to travel again, when things settle down, must be music to your ears.
So glad the family is supporting you to bridge the transition & you know that folks are sending you waves of good energy & healing.
I'm wrapping up week 7 of total knee replacement surgery- it's been a long haul, but I'm making serious progress & lots of changes.
Life is change~ so embrace it.

CanadianGardenJoy said...

Joe I had no idea you were going through such an intense time .. I am so sorry .. it is odd that you speak of the tree .. I too watched a tree in Spring from my hospital bed while recovering from major back surgery .. I also wondered if I would have any normalcy to my life ever again .. little did I know I would be able to push myself so hard and regain my life again and the impossible dream of moving to the Netherlands and living there for 4 years .. I think I am trying to say we need to give ourselves more credit to what we can do .. Joe, I give you heaps of credit and you WILL be much better SOON ! Serenity to rest with : )

Spadoman said...

Thank you, everyone, for all the warm thoughts and prayers. Believe me, I so appreciate how so many have come out to help me through this.
I'm typing with one arm, as the pacemaker device that was installed has me being a one-armed bandit. Slowly but surely, I will get around to everyone to say Thank You personally.

Peace to all and to all you hold dear.

Ms. Becky said...

Spadoman, you're encircled with love and light from all of us. thanks for sharing the beautiful story about the tree, and your lovely haiku. I'm relieved and happy to learn that you're at home now to heal. be well, be safe, be light.

Gemma Wiseman said...

Power to your wonderful spirit! In your stillness, your freedom to live rides on! You have the Great Mystery within you! A beautiful, inspiring post!

Magical Mystical Teacher said...

Tears of gratitude to God are welling up in my eyes as I read your eloquent soul message, my friend...

Dimple said...

Ms. Becky just gave me the heads up that you were in need. I am glad for those who knew earlier and have been holding your life up to God for good. And I will say, that when the time is right, the end of life in this world is also good.
This was not your time. I am glad, because I have only come to know you a little bit for a little while, and I (selfishly) appreciate having more time to know you better. I pray that Jesus, the lover of your soul, will touch both your body and your soul with His health and peace.

Mel said...

Just checking in on the one armed bandit. ;-)

Reading is good for today.
Rest.....easy does it, Mr. Bandit.

Hey Harriet said...

I'm so sorry to hear of what you've been going through and I hope you recover quickly. It's been so lovely getting to know you via the blogosphere and my thoughts are with you right now. I want you back on your beloved bike asap! Take care my friend! Tracy xo

Melissa B. said...

As a high school English teacher, I can certainly appreciate the Huck Finn reference. Hang in there!

Unknown said...

Spadoman - I had no idea of what's been going on with you! My blogging has come to a bit of a halt and I've missed your more recent posts.

You came through with flying colors but I wouldn't have expected otherwise from you. Meaning that you seek very deeply from within and therein lies your strenght.

Keep moving forward.

Warm, healing thoughts,

urban muser said...

glad to hear you are home. my thoughts are with you.

turquoise cro said...

Like Gina, I have been away from our Blogs for a while now and just learned of YOU this morning with comments from our dear Rebecca!!!
I will now be including YOU in my prayers!! HEALING Prayers for YOU and prayers for all your family, especially your wife!! Aren't trees AMAZING??!!! PEACE TO YOU AND YOURS!
Keep the Faith!Prayer Blessings, Cinda

Anonymous said...

I will pray for love and happiness to fill your days. Rest and heal.

Anonymous said...

I am so touched by the beauty I read, feel and connect with at Round Circle. Love and healing to Joe

Rosie said...

So happy to read that you have gone home now Joe. So relieved and so glad our circle of love helped you.

Noelle Clearwater said...

Well darlin' I left a comment on facebook already and I cannot believe that I missed you on Haiku my heart. I was waiting for you to post. I have been writing a thesis and sick myself. I am sooooo... glad you are home and safe and I am praying that the Commpassionate One in his or her many forms will embrace you, hold you and heal your wounded, beautiful heart, making it lovely pink and whole once again. You are an angel in our midst and we are not letting go of you my dear friend. Holding you in the light.
Peace, Love and One huge, long lasting Hug that doesn't wear you out,

Sara Chapman in Seattle, USA said...

Spadoman, hang in there. There's life in the old dog yet. You are a special soul, full of love, consciousness, and especially, appreciation. You will rest in love, in this life and in the next, because you have that attitude of gratitude that works such magic. Keep on!

robin. said...

"never underestimate the power and potential of the human spirit"...

i believe you are showing us both of these very well. and it never hurts to have God's hand in on the situation!!

may your recovery continue...
just BE.

Mel said...

Rest easy--there are lots of folks cheering for you and yours on the sidelines.