Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A relationship Has Ended

Facebook. It’s part of the language. It is the flagship of social networking. I remember, and not that long ago, defending the fact that I used it and had more pleasing experiences than unpleasant ones.
I reconnected with my old high school and grade school friends and acquaintances. I got in touch and had an easy way to stay connected with long lost family members. Friends from every era of my life came and went through the Facebook profile. I could read about them and they could read about me.

Where I proudly went to High School

It’s over. I’ve had enough. Facebook has gotten the better of me already and I know that, but I’m done. Here’s the last Facebook post I wrote:
This is my last post on Facebook until, and/or if, I change my mind. If you want to contact me, use e-mail, spadoman@gmail.com
If you need my phone number, e-mail me and ask me for it. If you want me to have your e-mail and/or phone number, e-mail it to me.
Facebook has crossed the line and I don't want to be involved and exposed to it any longer. It looks like old posts and comments will remain, for now.
One of the more fabulous parts of being on Facebook has been the reconnection with many old friends and school mates. I hope to hear from you, and also hope you'll want to hear from me. Peace to all.
I really don’t want to lose contact with my friends, but I can’t allow myself the daily visits to Facebook any longer. If I search for saddlebags for my motorcycle on Google, then I see motorcycle saddlebag advertisements on my Facebook side bar. Same with anything I happen to search for. I do a lot of browsing going gaga over motorcycle parts, so I get suggestions on my side bar and in my spam mailbox on Gmail that shows me they know exactly what I’ve been looking at.
When they want me to see about home refinancing, solar windows or how to save money on my car insurance, the ad usually has a women with large augmented breasts, with extreme emphasis on the boobs, to announce the ad. I haven’t been looking at porn or looking to buy breasts on Ebay or Craigslist, but being a male, they are selling sex, just like TV does. By the way, they screwed up because they don’t really know what kind of woman makes my head turn. See ladies, it happens to men as well.
I don’t see ⅔’s of what my Facebook friends post. I see the same 10-15 people every day, over and over. I ask FB not to post the game invites, they do anyway and clutter up the other side of my page with requests to play Facebook games. I don’t want to play games. I did at one time, but didn’t want to be sitting in my chair doing the games, so I quit them all.

A popular Facebook game, Farmville
I've lost contact with many friends because they play games and that's all I see is their game moves on their status reports. They don't ever say anything personal to me, they just play the games. That is their prerogative, but if I don't care to look through pages and pages of Farmville or any other game scenarios and I block the content, I lose that friend and the contact, and the only way I can find them is to type in their name and wade through page upon page of game data.
I don’t even see the photos my spousal unit posts on her status!  If I search a friend’s name, I’ll see their page and know that time and many posts have passed and I didn’t get to see any of them. Facebook suggests who my friends should be. They suggest all kinds of things in their attempt to make money. Do you really think they can have a network this large throughout the world and not be making money? It’s the underhanded way they do it that really bothers me.
I had chosen to let them do it so I can stay in contact with my friends, play games and have a social network to belong to, but I don’t choose to any longer. If you do, I don’t judge you or do any name calling. I just accept the fact that to some, it doesn’t matter. That is a personal choice and I have made mine.
I get spam mail on my e-mail accounts from firms that have something I looked up information about on Google. I am always being harassed to give my cell phone number to them, and if I want to read most stories, I need to allow them to share my information. One time, years ago, I put my cell phone number in an ad and my cell phone bill went up by $9.99 every month. I went months before I noticed it and paid for a service I didn't want or even know I had signed up for. My blunder, I know, but to me, that is an unethical way to make money and the same as theft.
I actually have met people that have become “friends”, because they were friends with someone that I was friends with, but they don’t know me and I don’t know them. I even have one "friend" that I have been in contact with for over three years because she saw a picture of me on my motorcycle on someone else's page! And although this isn’t so bad as it broadens a person’s horizons and the idea of making a new friend is enjoyable, I find myself spending more time with people I’ve never met and don’t know as the person I do know and was excited about reconnecting with fades away in to the sunset.
No More!
I asked my friends to give me their e-mail addresses and if they want, their phone number. I’ll keep in touch when I need or want to. They can have mine and do the same. I have plenty of friends that I don’t talk to real often, but when we do talk or get together, it will be like we never had a gap of time when we didn’t have a chat. I much prefer getting an e-mail, see a text or getting a call from someone than trying to edge in a serious comment along with so many others. How about a letter on paper delivered by the US Postal Service?
Even though I’m never ashamed of what I’m saying to someone, some correspondence needs to be personal. Commenting on a funny, political or satirical photo or other posting might not be the place to ask the simple question of “How’re ya doin’?”
Facebook already has so much information on everyone. Your tendencies as to what you look at while browsing, for instance, drives the spam mail you get. Your Facebook page gathers information even when you are not on Facebook itself. They keep an eye on you. Now, with Facebook changing your e-mail to (so-and-so)@facebook.com, we’ve let them control everything in and out of our lives. This blog is a Google run deal. I’m sure the content here is used like this as well to some extent. I know there are other blog hosting sites and I’m frantically looking for one right now.
There you have it. My reasons for leaving Facebook and my lament about knowing there will be some of the great people that I know that will no longer “Poke” me or say “Hello”, “Good Morning” or “Have a Safe Trip.”
In my perfect world, I’ll get up, power on the computer and see an e-mail from someone that just wants to say Hi and let me know they’ve been thinking about me and decided to touch base. Or better yet, start a discussion about whatever it is they might want to talk about. Something in my life that they read on the blog, or something in theirs that they want to say.
I posted this essay on my blog, Round Circle. I also linked to it on my Facebook page. So, I guess the announcement about not participating on Facebook is already a lie, but I’ll risk it to let my feelings be known and in hopes of not losing years of contacts to cyberspace.
Peace to all


Unknown said...

Keep the Faith....I know we'll meet again some sunny day!

Unknown said...

May the Universe hug you tightly!
Di xo

Jeannie said...

Can't say I blame you. I noticed the targeted ads too. I blocked a lot of the game notices - no interest in playing games and getting spam mail. I rarely post on facebook - not that much in my life that I need the world to know but I like it to be there to keep a tentacle on nieces and nephews and such - people I wouldn't really have cause to phone or email as often as they might change their numbers and addresses.

Blue said...

Peace to you too, friend. My e-mail and phone # are the same! I have been the worst at keeping in touch, but I do think of you a lot!

SkippyMom said...

As long as we can get you here and via email I am a happy camper.

I turned off the personalization because it wigged me out when I went on Yelp to my account and instead of SkippyMom it had my real name. NO THANK YOU.

And I looked at a dress at Nordstrom on line the other day - and the darn ad keeps following me around, showing the dress. I like it, but c'mon.

I was able to hide my friends' game playing and if I couldn't I completely hid them b/c they don't talk anyway. But I still keep in touch with so many people, including my neices, that I can't quite give it up. Sad really.

Hugs to you Spadoman! Love ya!

Evie said...

Thanks for your comments here, Joe. I do realize that most of what you say is true. In fact, I just recently made several comments about this on FB, but mysteriously they all seemed to disappear. Spooky. I'm glad to know you have a blog here, I assume with your spousal unit (come to think of it, I never see what my own S.U. has to say on Facebook.) I'll check in here. You have something to say and I've enjoyed hearing it.

Mel said...

Ummmmmmm.....I don't 'Facebook'. I've never quite got into that 'social networking' stuff--I'm just graced to stumble across THE GOOD PEOPLE by showing up on the web log that someone(s) convinced me eons ago to be a part of.
The agenda then was to keep in touch with some very special people I'd been graced to cross paths with through another online venue--that I didn't want to 'x' out of my life.
The web log's kept fairly true to it's mission.
It's a place to just hang on to what I need to hang on TO and to let go of the crud that I need to let go of. People come along for the ride--mostly kindred souls doing the deal the best they can.
No breasts popping out! No ads on the side......nothing to date that makes me shudder about changing my little piece of cyberspace.
Yes, I know folks have had huge issues.....but for some reason (and maybe it's my ignorance.......LOL) those issues haven't become mine to date. I'm grateful for that.

I have your number! (literally...LOL) and I hear what you're saying. Loads of folks are frustrated with how the venue has evolved.
THAT one I could see coming miles away--part of the reason I didn't sign up, frankly.
I'm keeping my little home for today.....and the company that cares to join me in the life journey's that we all get to wade through.
Don't you go zipping to other places and NOT let folks know!!
SOME of us will be a tad.......upset. :-/
k.....I'LL be horribly disturbed--kinda happens when you get fond of someone and they just go *poof*!!
JUST sayin'.........

Joreina Blanco said...

Seriously, Facebook made me even mad when I continuously receive annoying game requests. That's why I cling to Twitter now.

Unknown said...

Once I join FB because I could find my friends and yes, I found my friends and also some friends that hate me..LOL

I played FarmVille and others games but in the end I got bored, and now all I can see on my notification are gamer that invited me to play their games.

carol l mckenna said...

Right on ! ~ namaste, Carol (artmusedog) A Creative Harbor)

susan said...

I think you made a wise decision and for very good reasons. After a brief experience of FB a few years ago I expunged what little information I put up there and went back home to my blog.

I hope your friends come to visit you here.

somepinkflowers said...

You have thought this thru...


you posting here
is rich
with details & scarey fact.

every one must pick & choose.
your reasons for stopping FB
are thoughts i have had swimming in my head, as well...

i play no games,
i allow FB no outside links
i shop very little on line ...
my right-hand AD space features shoes & art supplies
i guess They Know me...


every morning
i can see the faces
of my young nieces & nephew
with their families,
i can share them
with my aging mother
& make her smile,
this is my personal motivation ...

all i can say is
i hope
you do not give up your blog!

your stories here
are so enjoyable
& heart*felt...

Annie Jeffries said...

I know the feeling. I'm expert at ignoring what I don't want to see. Ads, junk mail, spam. I delete it all at once without opening it. I block the games as they come in and it's pretty much reduced the game traffic. And I've removed anyone that is non-responsive to me and my facebook page. What were they doing there in the first place,I ask myself. End result - I get what I want and control the junk and over zealous posters. Not so hard, but that's just me. I know many like you who have said good-bye and they are happier for it. Email and texting works just fine.