Sunday, December 15, 2013

DEAR JOE 5-10-49 to 12/2/13

12/15/13

Dear Joe,
 Still can't believe you are gone. For a while it was easy to think that you were off on a trip/adventure, but then you would have called. Even if you were in a spot with no service, you would drive as long as it took to get a signal and call me. I still carry the stupid phone around, just in case, but it rings and it's not you.
 Jayne and I arrived back in River Falls with you around 11:30pm on Tuesday. The sacred fire was burning for you. Your friends were here to tend it 24 hours a day. Steve parked his RV at the house so they could take turns resting and warming up. He was here most of the days, only leaving to check his shop and mother. People brought wood, food, drinks, paper goods, tobacco and of course, their love and Joe Spado stories. It began raining and then got cold enough to snow and blow and still someone was there, at the fire to honor you. It was wet and very cold and still there was always someone at the fire. Jayne and Ben spent all night at the fire on the coldest of nights. I got up around 5 to take over and sent them in to sleep in our bed where the electric blanket was blasting.
 I kept thinking how much you would have loved to see all the activity around the house, kids all over the place, people stopping by, people drinking coffee, crying, hugging, eating.
 Jan and Ron came for the weekend, leaving Florida at 85 to be here in the sub zero. Sonya just left for Colorado after being here for 10 days.
 The mail, posts, emails that have arrived all have such beautiful things to say about you. I know that because of your PTSD you felt that you did not deserve the praise, but Honey you did! There are so many lives that have been touched by you and they are all the better for having known you.
 Loosing you has been so hard on the kids, especially Anna. I will tell you more about that in another letter.
 I am very tired, hope you visit me in my dreams. So much to tell you, I will write again soon.
 Give Maggie a big hug for me, I am glad you are together again.
Love you,
Me xoxoxoxoxox

8 comments:

Annie said...

Fare thee well, Joe. Much love to his family. He was a good man. So glad to have met him and some of his loved ones. Peace, Annie

susan said...

I was so sorry to hear the news Of Joe's passing when a mutual friend wrote to let me know. It's good to know the fires were tended and offerings have been made in his honor. We never got to meet in life, but there is another where we'll all meet in joy and harmony.

I wish you, Barbara, and all your family and friends the very best.

Kim Mailhot said...

Feeling honored, Barb, to be able to read this letter to Joe. Thank you so much for including his internet friends who loved him in your process.
Sending love and peace to you and your family.

Mel said...

Barb--thank you for sharing your letter with us. I'm honoured to be so privileged. And I'm sad for the space in each of us that won't be the same.
It's a painful gap in our lives, when we lose our earthy connection with someone so loved by us. And he was so well loved...and he loved well(even thought he might not have always thought so).
I send prayers of thanksgiving for having had the privilege to share in just a wee bit of Mr. Spadoman's life. And I just know he's huggin' that kiddo like crazy.

Pamela said...

dear barb, thank you for sharing your letter, I am forever blessed by knowing, loving and being loved by you and Mr. Spadoman and your family - in peace and honor sista

judie said...

That is lovely, dear Mrs. Spado. I know in my heart that Joe sees your words and feels your heart. I am awed by your love and devotion. Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts from your heart.

Fran said...

So sorry to hear of Joe's passing. We were internet/ blogging buddies & had a cyber friendship. We'd talk about our families, and life & health. He really embraced the life he had-- I'm so glad he got to do his road trips & especially glad you all did the big cross country trip with the grandkids. He loved being able to do that & share with the kids the joy of the journey. He seized the day when he had the time. It was even heartwarming to read his last blog post-- him & you (Barb) making the best of a hospital stay by having a good laugh over the food. It was a glimpse of the friendship/marriage you two had. I'm glad he was honored & you are surrounded by people who are loving & caring. The gathering of those who paid respects sounds like just what he would have wanted, Food, friends, real feelings. In his profile, Joe wrote " All I really desire is when you hear that I have passed, I hope you can say, "Too bad, he was a nice guy."
So I am saying it, and genuinely --
"Too bad, he was a nice guy."
Not much else to say. Be good to each other. You just have to allow yourself to feel your feelings & surround yourself with people who understand. ~ Fran (Oregon)

Grace said...

I am so very sorry to hear of his passing ~ My deepest condolences to the whole family ~