Only the Good Friday, May 29, 2009

Rise and Shine


Only the Good Friday, a brainchild of Shelly of This Eclectic Life blog, has taken hold with quite a few people. Many find stories and vignettes about Good things that have happened in the world or tales of the deeds of a Good samaritan. I’ve followed a different tack. I’ve been trying to explain how I’ve found some Good in life and subsequent peace, at times, in my own heart. I try to convey this idea and how it came about in me in the hopes that someone somewhere that needs healing may find some. What I did or what happened to me doesn’t mean that everyone must do this or that, but it is out there for consideration.

I recall in earlier times of blogland the Friday cat blogging, pictures of people’s cats curled up or playful with a catnip toy. I remember Friday Grand child blogging, same pictures with kids in them along with the cat and dog critters. The Good Fridays is another step in the direction of just taking a deep breath and stopping to smell the proverbial roses.

It feels Good to feel this way. In hopes that a lesson could be taken from my words is the purpose. My disclaimer is that I stumble and fail miserably at being this positive all the time. I do try, but I am not capable of doing all I say all the time and in all situations. So, take what you need and leave the rest. I’m just trying to make some Good in life, if even for one person, if even for one brief moment in time. Makes me feel Good to try.

This is a Good Friday for me. I want it to be good. I work at it. Last week, after I wrote my Good Friday post, I came into the living room and Mrs. Spadoman was talking on her cell phone to our daughter. Things weren’t going too well for her family last week. Nothing real serious, just some domestic problem they were dealing with.

It felt strange in a way. I had just written a post about being positive and how good things could be, then reality hit. Not everyone is going to have a great day, not everyone will have peace and harmony. Not everyone, including me, is capable of remembering to see the silver lining and pick the good and positive out of situations that are painful. So what happens then?

This made me think and come up with a plan that I hope I can remember and use when things aren’t so rosy.

I remember after I had my second open heart surgery in 2003. I was in the recovery room. I had just come out of the anesthesia. I think I was alone, at least I remember being alone. I felt weak. I was drugged to numb the pain, and that’s what I was, numb. I felt the pain, it just wasn’t killing me. Then I thought that I was ready to die. I started talking to my creator. I said that I was ready and that if this was it, I was ready to go across.

Creator talked to me immediately. He, (or she or it, depending on your point of view), told me that I needed to fight for life and pull through. He told me, “I’ll tell you when you’re going to die.” I took that to mean that I’ll know if the situation I’m in is gonna be the end of it. Not that I was given a date and time to prepare for ahead of time.

It was certainly hard to go through a second open heart bypass surgery and see the positive. In fact I didn’t. But now, as I try to be more positive and make the impact of a positive note for a Friday blog post, I recall not thinking about how bad things were when people came to visit or if they called, sent flowers or let me know in some way shape or form that they supported me and cared about me. That’s right. I distinctly remember that I didn’t feel bad when friends and relatives were paying attention to me while I was hospitalized. And being hospitalized is not a real positive thing to be going through.

Believe me, it’s hard to think positively about life in general when you’ve had your chest cavity cut open and someone has been messin’ around with your heart.

Struggling with the depression that comes along with PTSD, an anxiety disorder brought on by experiencing trauma, I know it to be impossible at times to even think that anyone loves me or cares about me. But deep down, I know it to be true. I am loved and cared for by many. This is the positive when things are bad. When the outlook is bleakest, there is hope and a Good side. It takes a lot of effort to think about being loved when depression grips your soul and is telling you to run away and be alone and things will be better. But it is possible to find those Good thoughts if effort is made to do so.

It’s also a Good thing that we show our concern and have empathy for the people that pass through our lives that are experiencing some bad times. By caring, we can feel Good, not in a bragging way, but with an understanding that makes us feel Good that we care and help another through their pain. Then, the possibility exists that we have made another have some Good that day.

I’m feeling Good today because I have my health and I am about to embark on a great epic motorcycle adventure. I can think about the past and remember that I may have faltered at times about being positive. But I also remind myself that I know Good can be there even when things are at their worst. I feel Good today because I realize that people care for me and they have all along, even when I’ve struggled to believe it. It makes me smile to think back of all the examples of this I’ve had in my life. Sure, I could feel guilty and shameful that I didn’t realize it when it happened every time, but I don’t. You see, I’ve also learned how to forgive myself for stinkin’ thinkin’. And in doing so, healing and believing and feeling Good.

Grab what you can today and everyday from the Good train. It’s passing by. Hop on. Look for it.

Peace in your hearts and all you hold dear.

I'll leave you with some pictures that make me feel Good.


Good New Mexican scenery




Makes Good thoughts to think about Peace




I feel Good when I see the New Mexico landscape




Always Good to think about my Grandkids




Always Good to be riding a motorcycle through the mountains